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By: Kristine Habibi, MS, LPC-A To have self-love means to have a positive regard for oneself. Self-love is essential for overall mental well-being, healthy relationships, building resilience, authenticity, and ultimately happiness. We often hear that we should practice self-love, but what exactly is that and how can we incorporate it into our lives? To have self-love means to have unconditional positive regard for oneself. Self-love is essential for overall mental well-being, healthy relationships, building resilience, authenticity, and ultimately happiness. Fortunately, there are many simple ways we can foster the development of self-love. It just takes some time and effort to develop new habits by using a few tools which keep the topic within our conscious awareness. Are you ready? Keep in mind that incorporating tools for improving self-love is in many ways similar to improving your appearance through physical exercise – you have to be consistent to see real results. Here are 7 Tips for Incorporating Self-Love: List five things that you are thankful for each morning as soon as you wake up. Avoid negative self-talk such as “I am ugly” or “I am fat”. Instead, fact check yourself and repeat what is actually true. If you speak negatively to yourself, your reality will become negative. Treat yourself as you would treat a loved one. Do kind and thoughtful things for yourself, just as you would for someone you care about. Fuel your body with nutrient-dense foods. Your healthiest self is your most beautiful self, and your body deserves healthy food. Learn about yourself. Try new hobbies, explore your personality type, investigate your love language. Work towards self-acceptance. Lastly, set boundaries when needed. Remember that you will never make everyone happy, and that is okay. Self-love is essential because it lays the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling life, enabling individuals to navigate challenges, build meaningful relationships, and pursue personal growth and happiness. The journey to self-love is not easy, but with these simple steps, you will be well on your journey to achieving self-love. Kristine is supervised by Thomas O. Whitehead, LPC-S.

By: Lauren F. Shaman, M.Ed. With kids home during the day, planned vacations, and family visits, we may have more distractions that keep us from completing necessary to-do’s this summer. We tend to focus on things that are interesting, making the routine tasks, work assignments, or longer projects more difficult to zone in on. Creating a list of distractors can be helpful to identify what might get in your way and make it difficult to complete your to-do list. Some distractions may include checking social media, taking personal calls during the workday, checking emails as they arrive, etc. Being aware of your distractors will make it a little easier to avoid them in the moment. For example, we all have our phone close by and may check it as much as every 5-10 minutes throughout the day. This can be distracting while we are trying to complete a presentation or review a report. Using sleep mode, placing your phone on the other side of the room for designated amount of time, or creating a schedule to check your emails and/or phone on an hourly basis, can allow for an uninterrupted amount of time to focus on your work. Throughout the day, new ideas come into our thoughts. Create a habit of asking yourself “is this something I need to do now, or can it wait?” If it can wait, write it down and set aside time in the evening to review your list of ideas and schedule a time to complete them during the week. When you complete a tedious task, make sure to reward yourself with something more fun or interesting. Whether it’s spending a moment checking your social media or taking time to go for a walk or a swim, reducing stress and rewarding yourself is a great way to stay motivated on the more boring tasks. Enjoy the rest of your summer!

By: Jack Wang, MS, LPC-A Job interviews can be a source of a great deal of anxiety, and they can be especially intimidating for those who have never been to an interview. This has been a recent topic for the Adulting Group that I help lead at The Conative Group. Perhaps you or someone you know is anxious about or having difficulty preparing for an upcoming job interview. Here are some tips on how to prepare. Simple Tips Dress for the occasion. Takes notes during the interview. Bring your resume. Be on time. Send a thank-you email after the interview to set yourself apart from other interviewees. Research the Company Spend time learning everything you can about a company. This will prepare you to talk about why you’d like to work at the company and what you can do for them. Research the Job Role Read the job description carefully and make sure to understand all the requirements and responsibilities of the role. This will not only ensure that you are qualified for the job but also help you prepare your own specific questions about the job position. Consider Your Answers to Common Interview Questions A general guide to answer each of these is to be honest and to show your best self. If you think your answer seems less than desirable to the interviewer, try to show that you are self-reflective and working on yourself. Tell me about yourself. Walk me through your resume. Why do you want to work here? What interests you about this role? What are your greatest strengths? What are your weaknesses? Why should we hire you? Tell me about a time you had to deal with conflict on your team. How do you deal with pressure or stressful situations? How did you hear about this position? Do you prefer to work independently or on a team? Are you applying for other jobs? From your resume it seems you took a gap year. Would you like to tell us why that was? Prepare a Few Thoughtful Questions for the Interviewer These questions serve to give you information that you want to know as well as tell the interviewer that you are truly interested in the job. What does a typical day look like for a person in this position? Why do you enjoy working here? What qualities do your most successful employees have? I’ve really enjoyed learning more about this opportunity. What are the next steps in the hiring process? Conduct Mock Interviews Mock interviews serve as valuable practice for the real interview. These practice interviews are the places to make mistakes and learn from them without the pressure of a real evaluation. Ask a friend or family member to ask you questions from step four. Include greetings and give your own thoughtful questions from step five for thorough practice! I hope these six steps help simplify preparing for a job interview and make it a little less intimidating. Good luck out there! Jack Wang is supervised by Stefanie C. Barthmare, LPC-S.

By: Alana Tristan, MS, LPC-A. “Ugh! I have so much to do between laundry, work tasks, filling out that application, errands… where do I even begin?!” It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when we have too much on our ‘to-do’ list that we put off. This leads to a lack of motivation, fear of what could happen, or productivity guilt… none of which anyone enjoys feeling. Procrastination is one of the greatest stress inducers. Sometimes I hear people say, “I work best under pressure” or “Because I can get work done last-minute it proves procrastination doesn’t hurt.” Can you relate? My previous college student self is guilty of this. I used to call myself a “PRO-procrastinator” like it was a badge of honor. It was not until I realized that even if I could get something done, why would I want to stress my way through it? Procrastination is not your friend and it is not a strength. No! Low energy and stress are not what you want from a friendship. What does help is learning skills to overcome stress and avoid procrastination. Once I developed better organizational skills, I was able to complete tasks in a timely manner without stressing about it. Woo! As a therapist, I assist clients in developing steps that help reduce their stress and anxieties. Executive Function Coaching is also a great area to practice organization skills on a consistent basis while having a Coach to help hold you accountable. Here are 7 steps to help you win the battle against procrastination: Forgive Yourself for Procrastinating Sometimes our guilt can hold us back. Allow yourself a fresh start! Shift Your Identity If you believe that you are lazy, I encourage you to reflect on ways you can improve yourself. Remember, you become what you think. Be Clear with Your Needs and Wants Clarity is an important aspect of defeating procrastination. It is easy to get lost if we do not know where we are going. Manage Your Energy Get enough sleep, take necessary breaks, and do the most important task when you have the most energy. This allows you to not run out of motivational fuel so quickly. Break Down Your Tasks Focus on smaller goals that get you to your biggest goal. My mentor once told me, “Nothing great is built overnight.” Keeping your focus one task at a time will allow you to be less overwhelmed and more productive. Practice Momentum into Productivity You can start by making a short list of 3-5 tasks to complete, set a timer for desired completion time, and take 5-10 minute breaks in between. Completing small assignments and setting deadlines will support the idea of you finishing. Practicing your commitment to this will naturally develop into a healthy habit. Partner With a Friend or Mentor Find someone who can relate and help keep you on track. Accountability is a great way of self-care. Overcoming procrastination is possible, but it takes practice and commitment. Celebrate every win along the way and reward yourself for tasks completed. I believe you can do it! Alana Tristan is supervised by Roxanne Deams, LPC-S.

By: Dr. Kimberly Harrison Parents, this is a critical time! Summer is one of the most important times of the year for setting rules to help your child develop healthy habits for screentime usage. Often, I hear parents talk about how summer is for “downtime,” so they relax their rules about how much screen usage is OK. However, the opposite is true. The summer months are often when addictive behaviors develop. We are experiencing an unprecedented mental health crisis and our children and teens have been impacted the most. A February 2023 Texas Children’s Hospital report showed mental-health related emergency room visits for Houston children and teens was up 800%. The U.S. Surgeon General, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Psychological Association have recently come out with strong warnings for parents about social media use for children and teens. Social media includes traditional platforms like Tik-Tok, Snapchat and Instagram, as well as sites like YouTube, and interactive video games. “Social-media platforms pose "a profound risk of harm to the mental health and well-being of children," according to U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy. I encourage you to read these reports. Many issues are discussed, including the amount of time spent on social media and unhealthy content. A limited amount of age-appropriate screentime can be enjoyable and relaxing, but too much takes away from development of healthy activities. The content of social media is another concern. Preteens and teens are being exposed to harmful content which include everything from overt instructions for self-harm, sexualizing, and use and creation of harmful substances, to the more subtle but equally devastating influences of unrealistic physical expectations, lack of sleep and overall negativity. And, of course, there is much more. My office is flooded with issues quickly traced back to unhealthy use of screens. So, what is a parent to do? The solution is fairly simple but not always easy. The older your children, and the more access they’ve had to private use of technology, the harder it will be. But, take heart. These suggestions can work and can make a positive, long-term difference for your child. The key to this system is that you don’t “take away” screens. You simply add other healthy activities so screen time is naturally minimized. It’s all about BALANCE. 1. Decide the Amount of Screentime That is Right for Your Child I like to use this "Sample Leisure-TIme Diet" pie chart. It’s based on coming up with categories of types of activities that make a healthy lifestyle, develop confidence and self-esteem, and foster emotional health. You’ll see that screen time is only a small part of available time. While I like to use percentage of “free time” (not school or structured activities) to create this chart, on days with no structured activities, like weekends, you also need to determine a maximum amount of screentime. For example, on weekdays when there are camps and/or organized sports there will be less available time, and 10%, so that 30 minutes would be available for screentime. But on weekends with no structured activities, 10% might be too much, so you might cap it at 2 hours. Keep in mind that children develop self-esteem, confidence, resilience and age-appropriate social skills best through creative play and in-person, socialization. Pre-adolescents and teens develop these through hands-on experiences, working with more knowledgeable others, and socializing in person. Most screen-based activities do not help with these very important life skills. 2. Have a Family Meeting and Tell Your Children About "The New Normal" They will push back at first but stand firm. Remember, you are the parent and you know what is best for your child. 3. Work With Your Children to Create an Ongoing List of Non-screen Options Some easy and fun ones are: art/crafts, creating forts/plays/etc, writing, music, sports, outdoor adventures, building models/puzzles/blocks, cooking, baking, science experiments, gardening … the list is endless. When they are “bored” direct them to these ideas. If you need more help, check out my parenting video workshop, Conative Parenting, which has a section on how to work through screentime parenting issues. You’ve got this! References: https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/health-advisory-adolescent-social-media-use https://www.aap.org/socialmedia https://www.texaschildrens.org/about-us/news/releases/two-world-renowned-health-care-organizations-join-forces-address-pediatric-mental-health-crisis#:~:text=Instances%20of%20children%20and%20adolescents,suicidal%20thoughts%20and%20suicide%20attempts

By: Katherine Esquivel, MS, LPC-A. Congratulations, dear new graduates! As you step into the bright world beyond academia, you're embarking on a journey of self-discovery and growth. This transition brings both excitement and challenges, making it crucial to prioritize your mental well-being during this transformative phase. Let us explore some tips to gracefully adjust to this new stage in life while caring for your mental health. Embrace Change, Embrace Yourself As a new graduate, it's natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Embrace this change and be patient with yourself as you navigate new routines, environments, and responsibilities. Build a Supportive Network Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and mentors is important during this phase. Seek out fellow graduates who are going through similar experiences and share your concerns and triumphs. Lean on your loved ones for emotional support and guidance. Remember, you don't have to face the challenges alone. Prioritize Self-Care Maintaining a healthy balance between work and personal life is crucial for your well-being. Prioritize self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's spending time outdoors, practicing mindfulness, indulging in hobbies, or exercising, ensure to carve out dedicated time for self-rejuvenation. Set Realistic Goals Setting realistic goals are key to managing stress. Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable milestones. Celebrate each accomplishment and remember that setbacks are part of the journey. Be kind to yourself and understand that progress takes time and effort. Seek Professional Help When Needed Remember that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you find yourself struggling with overwhelming emotions, anxiety, or depression, reach out to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs. There's no shame in asking for help, and you deserve to have your mental health cared for just like any other aspect of your well-being. As you embark on this new chapter in life as an eager alumni, remember that prioritizing your mental health is essential. Embrace the changes with open arms, build a supportive network, practice self-care, set realistic goals, and don't hesitate to seek professional help when needed. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources and support available to help you thrive. Cheers to new beginnings and a bright future ahead! Katherine Esquivel Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate, under the supervision of Roxanne Deams, LPC-S.

By: Kristine Habibi, MS, LPC-A Throughout the past couple of weeks, I have noticed a trend among my middle and high school clients. This trend is that most of them are preparing for exam season and finding healthy ways to cope with the stress and feelings of anxiety that come with it. Below is a list of helpful tips that parents can use as a resource to prepare students for exam season. 10 Tips for Exam Season and Coping with Test Anxiety Start Early Encourage students to start studying well in advance of the exam, rather than cramming at the last minute. Create a Study Schedule Help students create a study schedule that breaks down the material into manageable chunks and allows for regular breaks. Use Practice Tests Practice tests can help students get familiar with the types of questions they’ll be asked and build confidence. Get Enough Sleep Make sure students are getting enough sleep in the days leading up to the exam. Lack of sleep can impair memory and cognitive function. Eat a Healthy Breakfast A nutritious breakfast can help fuel the brain and provide the energy students need to focus during the exam. Use Relaxation Techniques Encourage students to use relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization to cope with test anxiety. Stay Positive Help students stay positive by reminding them of their strengths and accomplishments and encouraging them to focus on what they know rather than what they don’t. Take Breaks Encourage students to take breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge. Stay Organized Help students stay organized by keeping study materials and notes in order and avoiding clutter. Practice Good Time Management Encourage students to prioritize their time and avoid procrastination in the days leading up to the exam. Lastly, it can also be helpful to offer your student a small reward after each final exam to keep them optimistic. In addition, remember that summer break is right around the corner and that this is the final push! Kristine Habibi is a Licensed Professional Counselor - Associate, supervised by Thomas O. Whitehead, LPC-S.

By: Katherine Esquivel, MS, LPC-A, Supervised by Roxanne Deams, LPC-S In the month of May, we celebrate mothers all around us, typically with bunches of flowers, a box of chocolates, or handwritten notes. This month we want to give support to all mothers on their mental health well-being. As stated by Brené Brown, “Motherhood is hard, but your struggle doesn’t have to be yours alone.” More than anyone, mothers can forget to fill their own cup for the need of their children. Prioritizing mental health and wellness is crucial for all moms, as it can help them manage stress, improve mood, and maintain a positive outlook on life. Here are 6 ways that moms can prioritize their mental health and wellness: Make Time for Self-Care It's essential to take time out for yourself to engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being. This could be anything from taking a relaxing bath to reading a book, listening to music, or practicing yoga. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, can help reduce stress and anxiety. Connect With Others It's important to connect with friends and family members who can provide emotional support and encouragement. Joining a support group can also help you feel less isolated and provide a safe space to share your experiences with others. Exercise Regularly Exercise is not only great for physical health but also for mental health. Regular exercise releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and reduce stress and anxiety. Seek Professional Help If you are struggling with mental health issues, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Talking to a counselor can provide valuable support and guidance. Set Boundaries As a mom, it's easy to get caught up in the demands of daily life. Setting boundaries and saying no when necessary can help you avoid overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed. By prioritizing mental health and wellness, moms can better manage the challenges of motherhood and enjoy a happier, healthier life.

By: Lauren F. Shaman, M.Ed. One of the skills I focus on with clients during Executive Functioning coaching is goal setting. Research suggests there is a relationship between setting goals and performance. Having a specific and challenging goal creates a template for the planning process. Using the seven steps of goal setting allows for deeper understanding of the critical phases to complete to achieve your goals. Step 1: Identify Long-Term Goals The first step is always identifying what you are working towards; what you want to achieve. Write down the goal as way to get it out of your head and put it on your radar and move toward accomplishment. Step 2: Set a Deadline Put a date on when you want to complete each goal. Having a deadline increases the effectiveness of your goals. Step 3: List Obstacles Creating a list of what might get in your way, allows you to address them in the process. Obstacles may include limited knowledge or information, space, funds, or time. Knowing what might get in your way allows you to begin to plan for these roadblocks and create action steps over them. Step 4: Identify Helpers It’s okay to need help and sometimes others can create a pathway through the obstacles outlined in step three. In this step, identify people or groups you need to work with to help you achieve your goals. Step 5: List Skills In this step, identify the skills needed to reach each of your goals. You may need a certification or degree or develop your writing or public speaking skills, for example. Step 6: Benefits Ask yourself: “What’s in it for me?” Determining what you will gain from the achievement of the goal will help increase motivation and focus. Step 7: Plan of Action Develop short-term goals and action steps to break your long-term goals into small, measurable steps. Many times, the long-term goal seems too big and overwhelming, which leads to avoidance and procrastination. By breaking down the long-term goals into small, measurable steps, you create a manageable approach to achieving your goals. By identifying your goal, identifying potential roadblocks, and breaking it down into small, measurable steps, you create a template for planning. Once the action steps are created, you can begin to add these to your calendar, keeping your deadline in mind and planning backwards. Reach out to The Conative Group for support in setting goals that are meaningful to you and planning for success in accomplishing your goals and growing personally and professionally.

By: Jack Wang, MS, LPC-A. Supervised by Stefanie C. Barthmare, LPC-S. College can be an exciting time for young adults. For many, college means leaving the home, having more freedom, and seeking new opportunities in the world. On the other hand, there are less chances for their parents to nag them to do homework and for a professor to pay attention to their grades, therefore, some students find it difficult to manage their school life and some struggle with excessive gaming. Video games can be a fantastic source of fun and playing with friends online can be an important part of a college student’s social life. But sometimes gaming can be excessive and he or she may begin neglecting chores, homework, sleep, and relationships that do not involve gaming. Some college students game solely with friends from high school or friends from their hometown and neglect making new relationships during college. This may lead to a feeling of loneliness and a feeling of unbelonging when that person must be around other college students. This is an exploratory time in a young adult’s life. College students seriously consider what they want to do in their life and some may reflect that their excessive gaming habits need to change in order to accomplish what they want out of life. Here are some tips on how to manage excessive gaming. Tip 1: Find your motivation to change A helpful exercise to facilitate change is to write 500 words about where you want to be in your life five years from now. What is your ideal future? Pull from your imagination and then think about what it would be like if you did not achieve what you wrote down. You might be surprised about what you write and what insights you discover about yourself. A strong motivation can inspire you to make change, but often the motivation does not last forever. Tip 2: Find another hobby that you enjoy A hobby that competes with the gaming habit is an effective next step after finding motivation. Reducing the amount or eliminating gaming from your life will likely free up a lot of time that otherwise would have been used for gaming. Many don’t know what to do with this new found time and a passionate and enjoyable hobby can be a perfect fit to avoid boredom and to find fun outside of gaming. Finding a hobby outside of gaming is a very difficult step as not many things can top some of the exciting things that gaming offers. You may find that you need to take a couple week break from gaming altogether to begin enjoying other activities. Tip 3: Change takes time Making changes in your life is a marathon not a sprint. Some weeks will be worse or better than others. It is helpful to keep yourself accountable by keeping a journal or going on this journey together with a friend. The important thing is to stay on course and be okay with small steps. High expectations can make sure we aim high, but it can also paralyze us from trying if the task feels insurmountable. Break it down into smaller chunks and take it day by day. You’ve already made progress by reading this blog post! Good luck out there and I wish you the best!