Having a Healthy Relationship with Change

By: Alana Tristan, LPC-A, Supervised by Roxanne Deams, LPC-S.


One of life’s certainties is change. Some people adapt easily to new events while others find it difficult to adjust.


Whether you thrive on the excitement of experiencing something new, or whether you tend to experience anxiety about possibly losing control when events happen suddenly, too fast, or too much, having a balanced approach is important. We can’t “stranger danger” change and just suspiciously avoid it. So, the big question is: how do you handle change?


Personally, I disliked change growing up, even if it was good. I liked to know what I was getting into before deciding on something. I’ll admit…it was a control and protection net. Yup, guilty as charged! However, I became more open-minded the older I became and learned how to embrace change. I now understand it as an opportunity for self-improvement. I realized that it is not as scary as I thought. Phew! Sure, I may still feel uncomfortable at first, but I try to evaluate what I can gain or learn from something different coming my way. I’ve learned that having a healthy relationship to change leads to a healthy relationship to growth.


The Adulting Program here at The Conative Group is designed to assist individuals through changes as they emerge into adulthood. This includes finding a (new) job, applying to schools, exploring the next steps of how to live independently, and much more. No matter what type of change it is, it is awesome to witness young adults find what works for them. You can do it too!


Here are a few tips to make change seem less stressful:


  1. Reflect On Character Development Who you are and who you want to be. Having core values as a benchmark for your life helps make outside change easier to manage.

  2. Evaluate How Impactful Is The Change Is it hurting or helping? That is how you find peace in knowing that it is the right thing to change.

  3. Be Open-Minded Try having a balance of embracing new opportunities while also sitting in the change and allowing yourself time to process it.


As humans, we are literally designed to change physically, psychologically, and emotionally throughout life. My role as a therapist is to help you or your loved one navigate the change process. The key to therapy is the self-awareness that allows you to take control of your own choices so that you can bring the change you want for yourself. Seasons in life can provide emotional and psychological muscles to become better versions of ourselves. It is okay to lean in and embrace it. I’m rooting for you!


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