Motherhood Taboo: From One New Momma to Another

From creating birth plans to researching the best methods or items for you and your new baby, parenthood can be overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

Whether you are planning for your first child, growing one in your belly, or experiencing the beautiful chaos of a newborn, taboo topics of parenthood are more than just hormones. You know, the ones that we REALLY do not discuss or hear often. So, let’s talk about it…

As a new mother myself, I learned that many things come with becoming a parent. It involves hearing horror stories of other people’s journey, sleepless nights which affect both our physical and mental health, the anxieties of questioning whether what you are doing is right, constantly looking over to check on your baby and reassuring yourself safety, not drinking your cup of coffee while it is still hot (that one personally burns), and discovering a new version of you that you never knew before. Labor itself changes who you are as you uncover the greatest strength your body will ever go through. Carrying our baby in everything we do is the most beautiful yet hardest thing as a parent. It is the little things that people outside our home do not see.

We hear about postpartum depression now, but that is only a layer in the postpartum journey. In addition to the physical/medical aspect of postpartum recovery, studies show that some women experience anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, and identity shifts in the first year and beyond. Physical recovery can affect these areas of our mental health, especially with the pressures of demands from ourselves or others. Before we sound the alarm on how this may sound, it is important to remember that our body did incredible work. Healing is not linear, nor does it happen overnight. Postpartum is a season of healing, not a deadline.

While parenthood is a never-ending learning experience, it is different for everyone. Below are some tools and resources you can explore to help you practice what is best for you.

TOOLS

• Practical affirmations such as, “my body was made for this. Trust that it knows what to do.”

• Base your decisions on what is best for you and your family, not on pleasing others.

• Set a schedule by taking turns with your partner to avoid extreme exhaustion and rely on your trusted support team (e.g., extended family members, friends, etc.).

• Listen or read about people’s positive experiences as well instead of solely on horror stories… both can be true. Not all negative stories will be your story.

• Smoothies will be your best friend when finding the time to eat can be tough. Feeding your body is also feeding your mind.

• It is okay to set boundaries with friends and family when it comes to your mental health needs. Need a break from visitors? Schedule a different time if you are not ready. Can’t reply to that text in the immediate moment? Breathe, they will understand when you have the time.

RESOURCES

• Motherhood Center offers numerous classes including CPR certification, childbirth, breastfeeding, and newborn care

• Check your local hospital you plan to have your birth for free birthing classes.

• National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 833-852-6262 for 24/7 support and guidance.

• Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers online support groups by trained facilitators and information regarding postpartum journey.

From one new mother to another, I encourage you to listen and trust your body. In my practice as a somatic therapist, teaching my clients ways to connect with their body and learning how it communicates has been a powerful experience in their healing process. Postpartum healing does not just end at our 6-week checkup. It is a season that uncovers new strength within our struggles while you navigate parenthood and become your child’s world. I see you. I understand. You've got this!